Amanda Abbington has said that she is sure her and ex Martin Freeman have given their two children ‘irreparable damage’ after their split.
Talking to fans during an Instagram live for the Its Ok mental health campaign, which she is an ambassador of, Amanda admitted it is ‘unsettling’ if she pretends to be a Stepford Wife parent and doesn’t want to ‘hide’ anything from her children.
Candid: Amanda Abbington has said that she is sure her and ex Martin Freeman have given their two children ‘irreparable damage’ after their split
Amanda said during the video, which was broadcast to 49.1K followers earlier in April: ‘I think it’s unsettling if I pretend I’m this Stepford Wife parent.
‘Nobody is. I’m sure I’ve given them irreparable damage and they will be going to therapy because of me and Martin at some point.
‘If I can teach them to talk about it, say there’s nothing to be frightened of or ashamed of with whatever you’re going through.
‘Whether you get drunk or try drugs, whatever you do — this place where we live is a safe place where you can say whatever you like.
Split: The Sherlock actress, 47, and Fargo actor, 49, parted ways in 2016 after 16 years together and share son Joe, 15, and daughter Grace, 12 (pictured in 2015)
‘That’s what I am striving for and what Martin strives for as well — to create a place where they’re not hiding anything.’
Amanda added that it is important to discuss mental health with her children and for them to know that some days are ‘hard’ for her so it’s not a ‘dirty secret’.
She said: ‘To hide this from my children, that sometimes I get depressed or if I’m on antidepressants, what are you saying about all these mental health issues? Are you saying they’re offensive and shouldn’t happen? I don’t want that.’
During the chat, Amanda also lamented online bullying and said that her son was once left distressed after discovering a vile troll had wished her dead on Twitter years ago.
The star said: ‘The idea that someone has the mentality to throw those things out to people without even thinking the ripple effect of that. It’s the casual hate I find really upsetting.’
Reflective: Talking to fans during an Instagram live for the Its Ok mental health campaign, which she is an ambassador, Amanda admitted it is ‘unsettling’ if she pretends to be a Stepford Wife parent and doesn’t want to ‘hide’ anything from her children
Amanda also admitted that she spent years battling insecurities and that regular therapy has helped her overcome it.
She said: ‘I hated myself for so many years. I thought I wasn’t good enough for any relationship, I wasn’t good enough for my parents or any situation and being in regular therapy it’s like: “Yeah, I am, I’m alright.”‘
It comes after Amanda revealed that she had split from The Queen’s Gambit actor Jonjo O’Neill in January after four years, telling fans at the time she was a ‘fragile girl’.
The TV star started dating Irishman Jonjo, 42, after she split from fellow actor Martin in 2016 after 16 years together.
Amanda, known for playing Mary Morstan on Sherlock, and Jonjo took the step of moving in together in her Hertfordshire home during the pandemic last year.
She said: ‘I’m sure I’ve given them irreparable damage and they will be going to therapy because of me and Martin at some point.’ (pictured in 2019)
The actress announced the split to fans on her Instagram Live, saying: ‘Sadly no Irishman anymore. He’s gone… it’s fine, it’s just one of those things.’
Amanda hinted at her heartbreak by saying she was ‘very sad for personal reasons’ and admitting she was struggling with lockdown because she was ‘on my own in the house’, The Sun reported at the time.
She added: ‘At the moment I’m quite fragile… I’m a fragile girl at the moment.’
Amanda also joked that she had joined a dating app in a bid to combat her loneliness.
She wrote: ‘I go on Tinder. No, I’ve never been on Tinder, nor would I, that was a joke.
‘Being on your own, certainly, you build your strength up and you get a sense of perspective.’
Amanda and Jonjo first began dating in November 2016 – nine months after she secretly split from The Office star Martin.
They first went public in October 2018, when Amanda supported him in a West End showcase of Harold Pinter.
Talking about when they first met, she said: ‘At the end of the night I went up to him and said: ‘I think we should go for a drink.’ He was: ‘Yeah, OK.’
‘We were following each other on Twitter and it was really nice, but then I met him and it was like: ‘Oh, you’re lovely. I’ll be brazen’.’
Sad: It comes after Amanda revealed that she had split from The Queen’s Gambit actor Jonjo O’Neill in January after four years, telling fans at the time she was a ‘fragile girl’ (pictured in February 2019)
In March 2020, she said lockdown had brought them closer together. He said: ‘We’re enjoying drinking red wine and bingeing on TV series. I’m nearly a married woman.’
Meanwhile, Amanda previously discussed her split from Martin after 16 years together in an interview with The Sunday Times magazine back in April 2018.
She said: ‘When we broke up nobody knew, we didn’t tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff.
‘It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock.
‘We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other.’
When they broke up, hopeless romantic Amanda was terrified of being a single mother in her 40s and the separation was one of the darkest times of her life.
‘I had thought Martin was the love of my life. This wasn’t meant to happen to us,’ she said in an interview with Red magazine.
‘I would wake every morning with a sudden lurch. ‘Why do I feel sick?’ I’d ask myself, in the darkness of the bedroom I no longer shared with my partner.
‘And then, a split-second later, I’d remember what had happened. ‘Oh,’ I thought, as the tears started to fall. ‘That’s why’.’
She added: ‘During that long, lonely week, I had to keep things together for the sake of our children, Joe and Gracie, who were then 10 and eight.
‘They needed to be looked after. I had to wake them up and make them breakfast and take them to school and, in a way, the normality of that routine kept me going. It got me up in the mornings.’
Ex: The TV star started dating Irishman Jonjo, 42, after she split from fellow actor Martin in 2016 after 16 years together (pictured in September 2019)
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