Being unfaithful in a marriage can be the most agonising trauma for anyone to endure.
While most people decide to walk away from the relationship without a second thought, some have chosen to stay.
Two women have recently revealed how they handled the devastating news that their partner cheated on them
Cassandra*, 50, discovered her husband Colin*, 56, cheated on her four years ago.
When they first met, Colin was her boss who was ‘unhappily married’ and she was his secretary.
Eventually, they developed feelings for each other. But instead of straying, Cassandra said she made it clear to him she wanted no involvement in any affairs.
Within a week he left his wife for her.
The couple have since been together for 20 years – but four years ago, their marriage was on the rocks after having a rough patch.
The top nine professions most likely to cheat
7. Nightlife industry
9. Legal industry
Source: Victoria Milan
As her suspicions grew, Cassandra said she was at work one day when she felt compelled to check his emails due to a ‘gut feeling’.
And it was then she discovered emails revealing details he and his administration assistant had been ‘fooling around’ for months.
‘It really hit me for six because I wasn’t expecting it. I printed those emails and when Colin got home from work I confronted him, going, “Have you ever cheated on me?” And he went, “No, never, never”. I said, “You lying b*****d” and handed him the emails,’ she said.
Although this resulted in an awful blow to her self-esteem, Cassandra said she couldn’t imagine life without him because she still loved him.
She decided to stay with him and the two of them went to see a psychologist after Colin said he was willing to do anything to fix their relationship.
It took her at least two years to trust him again. Cassandra said she can now she ‘trust him completely’ after the affair brought them closer.
Nowadays Cassandra said if they mention Colin’s infidelity, he would cry because he still couldn’t believe the pain he put her through and he vows to never do it again.
‘It really hit me for six because I wasn’t expecting it. I printed those emails and when Colin got home from work I confronted him, going, “Have you ever cheated on me?” And he went, “No, never, never”. I said, “You lying bastard” and handed him the emails,’ she said
Tara* was happily married to David*, both aged in their 40s, for 17 years after meeting in London before relocating to Australia. They have two children together.
But last year she found out he cheated on her seven years ago.
A year ago Tara said noticed he was messaging his ex-girlfriend a lot and had an awful gut feeling so she decided to look at his phone.
Sure enough, she found proof that unfortunately supported her suspicions as the message she found said ‘it was seven years ago when we [slept together]’.
Tara was left heartbroken and confronted her husband who admitted to the affair.
After some time they communicated about the state of their relationship and David begged her to go to couples counselling.
Top actions that are considered to be cheating behaviours:
Forming a deep emotional bond with someone else – 55 per cent
Sending naked pictures to someone other than me – 46 per cent
Texting erotic messages to someone other than me – 44 per cent
Maintaining an online dating profile – 29 per cent
Spending time with their ex-partner – 29 per cent
Casual flirting with someone other than me – 18 per cent
Thinking about someone other than me when having sex with me – 18 per cent
Going out to dinner with someone who is the opposite sex – 18 per cent
Communicating with their ex – 16 per cent
Fantasising about someone else – 13 per cent
‘I traced it back and realised I’d been six months pregnant with our second child when it happened. I only know about that one time, but there could have been more. Either way, it made me think that the last seven years had just been a lie,’ she said.
Tara felt like her husband had made the conscious decision to sabotage their relationship and although she thought she was a capable woman, finding out he cheated made her not able to function.
When they discussed the details of the affair she found out that it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision but something they meticulously planned.
At the time of the cheating David had a gardening business when the woman asked him to work on her garden.
‘After he worked on her garden, he came home to me – I was heavily pregnant – and he told me he was going out to the movies that night. He’d actually arranged to be with her,’ she said.
Despite trying to work on the relationship, Tara said their marriage started to fall apart after he failed to attend counselling. She decided to leave their marriage after she realised there was no trust left.
*Names have been changed