While many regret seeking out extramarital affairs, one Australian woman has revealed how cheating on her husband of ten years has actually ‘improved’ her marriage.
Kasey*, 33, is a busy mother-of-three who runs her own business and works as a part-time sales assistant.
She has been happily married to her husband for a decade but in 2017 she decided to fill the ‘intimacy gaps’ in her marriage by seeking out other men.
‘I wanted to go online and find like-minded people to engage in some fun but I wasn’t sure how far I was willing to go at first,’ Kasey told FEMAIL.
While many regret seeking out extramarital affairs, one Australian woman has revealed how cheating on her husband of ten years has improved her marriage (stock image)
‘I now have a few regular people I meet up with about once a month and that’s been going on for a year now. I’m always willing to meet new people as well.’
Kasey said that while the cheating itself has no direct impact on her marriage, she is a better person for it.
‘Sex has never been an overly exaggerated exercise at home but [the affairs] have improved how I feel about myself,’ she said.
‘It feels good to gain affection and lust from my partner. I don’t have the option to try anything new at home so I seek it elsewhere. I am doing what I want to make myself happy.’
Kasey said she felt guilty when she first started straying from her marriage, however as time went on the guilt faded and she now sees it as a positive.
She does, however, take precautions to make sure her husband never finds out about her secret relationships as he would be very upset, ‘no question about it’.
‘I take all precautions with not getting caught, it’s not easy and it takes organisation with both parties,’ she said.
‘I delete my messages and keep the phone calls to a minimum unless I’m out of the house,’ Kasey said.
‘Sex has never been an overly exaggerated exercise at home but [the affairs] have improved how I feel about myself,’ she said (stock image)
‘With other people in similar circumstances it’s a mutual respect thing to have times when contact can be made throughout the day.
‘With meeting up in person you do what you have to do. Depending on the time of day sometimes no lies have to be told. It’s just like any other ordinary day.’
Kasey speaks to her affair partners throughout the week, meets up with them on average once a month for sex and ‘a few more times’ for coffee catch-ups.
While Kasey is sure she is doing what needs to be done to save her marriage, she says she is ultimately fulfilling her needs elsewhere to keep her family together.
‘I continue cheating because we have a young family so it’s for the benefit of the children,’ she said.
‘I do still love my husband but there are some things in life I would like to do and explore and this isn’t an option with him. I get my needs fulfilled.’
What are the signs your partner is cheating on you?
The ‘Accidental’ Cheater
These people will be going through the ‘we didn’t set out to hurt anyone’ and the ‘I love my partner but I’m not sure if I am still in love with them lines’.
They will start by talking about a new person at work, at golf or tennis club etc. and you won’t think too much about it until it starts to almost become awkward.
As the attraction grows, suddenly your partner stops talking about the random stranger who has crept their way into just about every conversation for the past few months. Then like magic, poof, they disappear and there is no mention of this mystery person.
The ‘Once Off’ Cheater
This type of cheater may just have a momentary lapse of judgement during an innocent break from the routine like a boy’s/girl’s trip, weekend away or business trip.
Signs of this cheater include them becoming standoffish and uncharacteristically uncommunicative or going out of their way to tell you how much they love you.
These people will also likely have moments of guilt and buy you unexpected gifts or seem more distant when spending time with you even if you are spending more time than usual together.
The ‘Serial’ Cheater
If a cheater gets away with cheating, the thrill of this can become exciting. Which is why, ‘once off’ cheaters often become serial offenders.
This type of cheater is a repeat offender and will continue to cheat again and again as they love the thrill of it.
This narcissistic cheater is a seasoned pro so they can be harder to detect because they have mastered their craft.
They will go out of their way to tell you they have friends of the opposite sex and if you are going to have a problem with that it’s not point continuing as they don’t want to live the nightmare again.
After laying this base down, this cheater now has their ‘get out of jail’ card if they need to use it.
Source: Louanne Ward, Dating Expert
Kasey is not the only woman who is cheating on her husband to ‘improve’ their marriage, with author
After researching women aged 24 – 65 on married dating site
With their sexual urges not being met by their husbands, these women felt that the ‘only way to save the marriage is to have their physical needs met by another man’.
They also admitted that by having their physical needs being met elsewhere, they would be better wives and better mothers.