Mel Owen realised son Hunter was just like his dad in EastEnders, by Jim Shelley

EastEnders has become so far-fetched even the characters can’t take each other seriously or quite believe what’s happening.

Then again, I suppose at least that was realistic. We had the same problem.

Mel Owen for example was having sleepless nights about her son Hunter and their current storyline.

Not good: EastEnders has become so far-fetched even the characters can’t take each other seriously or quite believe what’s happening 

Not good: EastEnders has become so far-fetched even the characters can’t take each other seriously or quite believe what’s happening 

Not good: EastEnders has become so far-fetched even the characters can’t take each other seriously or quite believe what’s happening 

‘I find it helps to write your worries down,’ she told him when he discovered her sitting in the dark at the kitchen table with a notepad.

We didn’t see it but presumably her list included things like:

* getting wrinkles

* nightclub is rubbish

* not got a single friend or relative (apparently)

* not got washing machine (standard in Walford to be fair to me)

* might not get away with murder

* son is psychopath

She wasn’t wrong though

Stress: Mel Owen for example was having sleepless nights about her son Hunter and their current storyline

Stress: Mel Owen for example was having sleepless nights about her son Hunter and their current storyline

Stress: Mel Owen for example was having sleepless nights about her son Hunter and their current storyline

Odd: Hunter always had been ‘a strange boy’ but nowadays their scenes together invariably ended with Mel looking at him in amazement, and not in a good way

Odd: Hunter always had been ‘a strange boy’ but nowadays their scenes together invariably ended with Mel looking at him in amazement, and not in a good way

Odd: Hunter always had been ‘a strange boy’ but nowadays their scenes together invariably ended with Mel looking at him in amazement, and not in a good way

Odd: Hunter always had been ‘a strange boy’ but nowadays their scenes together invariably ended with Mel looking at him in amazement, and not in a good way

Odd: Hunter always had been ‘a strange boy’ but nowadays their scenes together invariably ended with Mel looking at him in amazement, and not in a good way

Hunter always had been ‘a strange boy’ but nowadays their scenes together invariably ended with Mel looking at him in amazement, and not in a good way.

The two ex-wives of Ray Kelly (Mel’s boyfriend, fiancé, and – very briefly – husband) may have been having extreme difficulty believing the notion of a pouting brat like Hunter acting like a tough guy but his mother was perturbed for the opposite reason: all too evident.

Hunter becoming the latest of the endless people living in Albert Square to have murdered someone hardly came into it.

If looks could kill: Becoming the latest of the endless people living in Albert Square to have murdered someone hardly came into it

If looks could kill: Becoming the latest of the endless people living in Albert Square to have murdered someone hardly came into it

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If looks could kill: Becoming the latest of the endless people living in Albert Square to have murdered someone hardly came into it

Much more disturbing/disturbed was discovering Hunter still had the gun and his idea of a safe hiding place: down the back of the sofa, the way ‘normal’ teenagers would with, say, their cigarettes.

Tonight’s revelation was that, when Hunter had been late home after school, he hadn’t been with a girlfriend or with his mates – mainly because he didn’t seem to have any.

He’d been to the woods where he’d shot Ray and they’d buried him – to retrieve the bullet (Admittedly, a better excuse for being later than most school kids have).

Job done: He’d been to the woods where he’d shot Ray and they’d buried him - to retrieve the bullet (Admittedly, a better excuse for being later than most school kids have)

Job done: He’d been to the woods where he’d shot Ray and they’d buried him - to retrieve the bullet (Admittedly, a better excuse for being later than most school kids have)

Job done: He’d been to the woods where he’d shot Ray and they’d buried him – to retrieve the bullet (Admittedly, a better excuse for being later than most school kids have)

‘I thought about moving the body or destroying it somehow,’ he explained casually as if he did these all the time, like EastEnders’ answer to Mr. Wolf in Pulp Fiction. ‘Then I started digging.’

‘What with?!’ Mel said, which wasn’t really the issue but was exactly the sort of question your mum would ask.

‘I took a trowel with me,’ Hunter shrugged, as if everyone in Walford had a trowel. ‘Plus I had to dig up a bit of the body. It’s been there for over a month so it wasn’t easy finding the bullet hole but I did it.’

Confession: ‘I took a trowel with me,’ Hunter shrugged, as if everyone in Walford had a trowel. ‘Plus I had to dig up a bit of the body' 

Confession: ‘I took a trowel with me,’ Hunter shrugged, as if everyone in Walford had a trowel. ‘Plus I had to dig up a bit of the body' 

Confession: ‘I took a trowel with me,’ Hunter shrugged, as if everyone in Walford had a trowel. ‘Plus I had to dig up a bit of the body’ 

This was beyond the pale even for Mel, who at best is regularly be described as ‘a hard-nosed cow’ and is herself not exactly well adjusted. (She is also a murderer and come up with the brilliant plan of confessing to the police, claiming they’d killed Ray ‘because we were traumatised.’ This didn’t really explain why they’d then buried him in the woods and left the country for a week’s holiday.)

‘Stop it!’ she cried. ‘Can’t you hear yourself?’

‘He’s dead mum. It’s just a body. Rotting flesh!’ the kid insisted. ‘It’s nothing to be scared of.’

Too much:  This was beyond the pale even for Mel, who at best is regularly be described as ‘a hard-nosed cow’ and is herself not exactly well adjusted

Too much:  This was beyond the pale even for Mel, who at best is regularly be described as ‘a hard-nosed cow’ and is herself not exactly well adjusted

Too much:  This was beyond the pale even for Mel, who at best is regularly be described as ‘a hard-nosed cow’ and is herself not exactly well adjusted

‘No,’ his mother bridled. ‘Not if you’re a….’

‘A what?!’ he pouted, narrowing his eyes and sucking in his cheeks to look even prettier. ‘Go on. Say it! A psychopath?! Like my dad.’

The bad news for Mel (and for us) was that he didn’t seem to be angry at the implication.

Hunter wanted to be a psychopath.

Which was in itself was psychopathic.

 

Link hienalouca.com

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